This week it was announced that the Labour Government are now a threat to our national security following Jeremy Corbyn’s victory during the leadership election last weekend. The Conservatives – revered guardians of the people – have made it a number one priority to bring this to our attention, and you need to listen.
Tweets, videos and formal announcements from various Tory MPs have plastered the dire danger that we face all over the Internet. Apparently, it is our ‘national security’ that is at risk. Exactly what that is remains to be discovered, but it’s under threat, and you need to be scared.
David Cameron himself announced to his followers on Twitter: ‘The Labour Party is now a threat to our national security, our economic security and your family’s security.‘ Time to put on a pair of boots and shake really violently in them.
A hard-hitting video released by Tory PR this week showcased a selection of black and white clips of Jeremy Corbyn, with shrill violins howling in the background and a bullet-point selection of totally accurate ‘facts.’
The clips were a carefully crafted selection of moments where Jeremy Corbyn’s words could maybe potentially possibly be interpreted as depraved were there to be a use of misleading editing, sensationalist imagery and a complete lack of context. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case with this video; Jeremy Corbyn is just a nutty Bin Laden sympathiser.
Of course, if you were to do the same thing to David Cameron footage like Cassetteboy did, the end result could be far more sinister. But let’s ignore that. This is about Jeremy Corbyn, the guy who wants the rich to pay their taxes; the lunatic.
Jeremy Corbyn, the man who has fought his entire life for a just world is in fact the embodiment of pure evil, and we should all be petrified of what he’s capable of. His lifelong support of the LGBT movement, the right to education, access to welfare and animal rights amongst other humanitarian causes is almost certainly a telling sign of his malevolent intentions. Watch out.
David Cameron on the other hand, the man who was recently recorded cackling about people from Yorkshire hating themselves as much as each other, is in no way a threat to our country. How could he be? The use of food banks increasing by 700% in the past three years alongside bankers’ bonuses rising by 64% under his rule is living proof of his selfless commitment to the people.
In 2013, Jeremy Corbyn was awarded the Ghandi International Peace Award for his commitment to social justice and non-violence. He’s been a vegetarian since he was 20 after working on a pig farm, doesn’t own a car and has admitted that he rarely drinks. He was even arrested in 1984 for protesting against racial segregation in South Africa. Utter treachery.
David Cameron however, the Eton educated son of a stockbroker, was found to have claimed £82,450 in expenses on his second home in Oxfordshire in 2009. How can Corbyn compare?
He even recently agreed to let 20,000 Syrian refugees into the UK over the next five years. Of the 4.1 million Syrians fleeing their homes right now, we’d say this is a commendable effort. Don’t you agree?
When we consider that the war forcing civilians to flee Syria in the first place is made possible by the UK selling weapons to terrorist associates at the arms fair hosted in London every two years, it’s easy to see that David Cameron is clearly a man of logic.
His decision followed a tragic photo of a refugee holding his drowned baby boy upon arrival in Europe going viral. Had the Conservatives have persisted with their ruthless immigration policies following the release of this photo, they would almost certainly have lost all credibility and any chance of winning the next election.
But of course, that had nothing to do with it. Pure coincidence. David Cameron is just a really nice guy.
Watch out for that Jeremy Corbyn though. He wants a fairer world, and all that other bleeding-heart tosh. One where the rich don’t get richer and the poor don’t get poorer. One where everyone is treated equally and one where everyone is entitled to support should they need it. What a load of wishy-washy nonsense. He’s a dangerous man. Be scared, be very, very scared.